Why Confidence Drops After Parenthood — and What to Do About It

You’re not imagining it. Your confidence really did take a hit.
Whether it’s been a few months or a few years since you had children, returning to work can stir up self-doubt that feels overwhelming.

And if you're trying to juggle it all — the job, the kids, the school runs, the emails piling up — it can feel like everyone else has it together except you.

But here's the thing: You're far from alone.

Research shows that over 58% of working mothers report a loss of confidence after having children.*

Why Confidence Drops After Parenthood

Confidence doesn’t disappear overnight.
It fades slowly during sleepless nights, missed opportunities, identity shifts, and moments where you feel unseen or underestimated.

You go from leading meetings to managing nap schedules.
From making big decisions to second-guessing yourself about everything.
From being "on top of things" to feeling like you’re always behind.

And when it's time to return to work, especially in fast-paced roles, that lost confidence doesn’t magically come back just because you’re back at your desk.

“Everyone Else Looks Like They Know What They’re Doing…”

That’s one of the most common things I hear from my clients here in Cork.
They say:

• “I used to feel sharp but now I freeze when someone asks me a question.”

• “I constantly compare myself to younger colleagues.”

• “I’m afraid someone will realise I’m not as competent as I used to be.”

• "I feel like all I can talk about is Peppa Pig or Paw Patrol" (nightmare)

This isn’t about a lack of skill.
It’s about a lack of self-trust after a massive life change. And that is something you can rebuild.

What Helps? (And No, It’s Not Just “Self-Care”)

You don’t need bubble baths. You need space to think clearly.
You need tools to quiet the overthinking.
You need to feel like you again, not just someone’s parent, employee, or partner.

Here’s what can actually help:

• Reframing self-doubt with evidence-based mindset tools

• Learning to interrupt rumination before it spirals

• Rebuilding confidence through small, deliberate steps

• Speaking to someone who gets it (and won’t judge)

A Word to Working Parents

If you’re based in Ireland and you're finding it hard to feel like your old self — I see you.
I've worked with professionals across Ireland who felt stuck, anxious, and overwhelmed.

You don’t have to figure it out alone.
Whether you’re just returning to work or have been quietly struggling for years — confidence is something you can rebuild.

Want to talk it through?
I offer 1:1 confidence coaching — in person or online (in person you'll be in Cork)
This isn’t therapy. It’s support that’s focused, practical, and tailored to you.

👉 Send me a message if you’re ready to stop second-guessing yourself.

*Source: Bright Horizons Modern Family Index, 2023